at first I thought I hated you.
I blocked every account you have.
I stopped asnwering our friend's messages— that keep asking me about "how is it going between you two?"
I thought I hated you.
I became so angry whenever I see tagged photos of you— and your new girl; smiling like you are the happiest person in this world.
my sudden mood swing went crazy those days.
but then I realized that
I didn't even hate you.
I loved you— I still am.
I hated that you can be happy without me.
I hated that you smile because of her and not me.
I hated that I want me to be the only one that can make you laugh at 2 a.m.
I hated that I still care about you, so much— but you don't.
those blocking things
happened because I'm afraid I didn't have enough courage to see your smile hanging on it.
our friend's message gets old
happened because I'm not ready to hear your latest news— that you make a holiday with your new girl.
the ignored photos of you
happened because I'm jealous.
shit.
I miss you.
